You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he was CRYING into my vagina
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
