Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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