I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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