I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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