Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
