all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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