OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize