its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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