i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
