Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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