i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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