I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
