i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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