Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
honey bunches of taint.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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