no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
