he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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