i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize