Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
