This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
