I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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