In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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