No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
