yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
