You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
