brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
