please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
