3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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