Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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