I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He shit in the fireplace
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
