Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
this is an emotional support booty call
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
