I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
