it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
...so i touched it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize