Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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