That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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