dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
