Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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