i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
