i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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