So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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