You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
