just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wear drunk well.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
