Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
