Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
