About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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