Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
