Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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