We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
