My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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