Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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