Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
