im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
