I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
