Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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