If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
