i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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