Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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