If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
