Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
