forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My pussy is not your playground.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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