Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
