You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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