i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
