i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
