nut hugger
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
