i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
