TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
